


Broken Mirror

by Juzosuke-Ishimondo (Aster_Nightingale)



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Closeted Character, Gen, Trans Male Character, Transitions from She/Her to He/Him Pronouns for Fujisaki Chihiro, may add part 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 12:00:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29045778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aster_Nightingale/pseuds/Juzosuke-Ishimondo
Summary: She hated looking in the mirror. Not because she wasn't pretty, but it was because she saw a girl and not a boy.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	Broken Mirror

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a headcanon. It is not canon. I am a trans man. Do not start discourse or call me transphobic. I am not transphobic. I shouldn't have to say this to the beginning of my own fic.
> 
> Edit: I added a bit about Ogami because she deserves it.

Chihiro Fujisaki hated looking in mirrors. It wasn't that she was ugly. She was considered very cute with her petite frame, large doll-like eyes, pale skin, and soft brown hair. No, it had nothing to do with her looks, not entirely. It was because when she looked in the mirror, she wished she was looking at a boy. 

She stepped out of her clothes and turned on the shower. Her eyes were closed as she washed herself. How long had it been since she first came out as a boy? The first time was a disaster. She was young, oh so young. She doesn't even think she was out of elementary school yet, but she knew she wasn't a girl. It wasn't a deal with liking traditionally masculine things. It was more that she felt foreign amoung other girls. Being around them felt like she wasn't part of the group, but being around boys felt as natural as breathing to her. It was a night and day difference, and she didn't understand at all. But, when she learned she didn't have to be a girl that she could be a boy, it left her feeling...strange. The feeling was soft and bright and it made her laugh with elation. She didn't have to be a girl. She didn't have to be a girl. She could be like her friends. She could be a boy! But it didn't work out well. Her friends mocked her. They called her a freak. Even though you're a boy, you look just like a girl! Even though you're a boy, you're just a stupid girl! 

She cried more that day than any day after. Why? Why was it like this? The feeling of the water getting cold broke her out of thoughts from the past. She got out, dried off, and started getting ready for school. 

Hope's Peak academy was far more accepting of her than other schools were. For one, when she asked for the male uniform along with the female one, they didn't even bat an eye and gave them to her. They never asked questions. They never once batted an eye at anything. She wasn't sure if that was validating or terrifying. If they didn't think much about it, would they out her before she was ready? If they didn't care, would they bother helping her transition into a boy? If it didn't matter to them, would they still label her as a girl when she did come out? There were so many pros and cons flitting through her head that it hurt. She swallowed softly and finished getting ready. She had time to come out to them. It didn't matter right now. 

Classes were easy for her. She had always been smart especially when it came to math, so she could zone out if she wanted to or write down ideas for new programs. She would only snap out of thinking when Ishimaru, inevitably, scolded Kuwata or Oowada about sleeping in class in Oowada's case or annoying one of the girls in Kuwata's case. It always led to Ishimaru giving them detention and one of them silently or quietly cursing out the prefect. Chihiro could only sigh. If she had to guess, she would say she was closest to those two boys. They were the textbook definition of masculinity, especially Oowada. In fact, the only people more masculine she knew of were Nidai in one of the other classes and Ogami though, Ogami also had a soft femininity to her that only highlighted her strength and grace. She wished she were even a little bit like them. They probably never cried themselves to sleep because they felt they were too weak to ever be the person they wanted to be. They probably never hated themselves so much that they wanted to tear themselves apart just to be the person that they were supposed to be. She shuddered. Those sort of thoughts always made her feel uneasy. She knew it was natural to be jealous,sometimes, but the idea of getting hurt or being in pain always left her feeling so cold. Whether or not that had to do with the bullying she faced after she first came out wasn't the issue. No, the issue was it happened and sometimes the pain of those days crept up and reopened the scars that had long since started to fade.

  
She went back to her dorm after classes. Asahina had invited her to join her and the other girls for some sort of trip into the city, but she honestly hated being around other girls right now. Sometimes she could handle it, and she had fun, but the feeling of being an infiltrator was there and got under her skin. She knew Ogami and by extension Asahina would be accepting of her, but it scared her, too. She got out of her uniform and slipped on a plain shirt and shorts as she got settled in front of a lap top. One of her upperclassmen, Nanami, was helping her out with her part of the neo world program group project. The gamer was an incredible asset to the project. For one, she was willing to be a guinea pig for the neo world project, and for another, any type of simulation was easy for her to get through because it was designed in a game like way. Nanami was fun, and Chihiro really liked her. Nanami was one of the few people who Chihiro talked about her actual identity with, and Nanami understood and supported her. She even called Chihiro with he/him pronouns when they were alone together. It was the best relationship Chihiro could ever say she had. 

It wasn't often that she got close to people at all. Ever since she first came out, she isolated herself and spoke to her fellow students only when necessary. She spoke more easily with the boys, but she still didn't trust them enough to really get to know them and it got to the point that she created programs just to have someone other than her busy parents to talk to. Despite that, she was popular online. People loved the little chat bots that she made. People loved her, but whenever they told her how much they loved her or how rare it was to see a girl in programming, she wanted to cry. How would they react when they find out she was a boy? Would they react like those so called friends did so long ago? Would she lose the reputation she built up? Did she even care if it meant that she would finally get to transition? She took a deep breath and resolved herself. She wanted to trust her classmates. She wanted to believe in them and herself. She wanted to stop living in the closet like this. She texted Nanami and the two talked all through the night. 

The next day, he dressed in the male uniform he had been given at the beginning of school. There was no hope with getting his hair more masculine right now. He was never good at cutting it himself. He walked into class ignoring the stares of the other students. He couldn't afford to be afraid right now. He wanted to be brave like he always hoped he could be one day. He smiled as he stood in front of them. 

"A-allow me to reintroduce myself. I-I'm Chihiro Fujisaki, the ultimate programmer. I-It's nice to meet you. I hope we can get along."

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this, please leave a comment or a kudos. Thank you for reading. ^_^


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